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Friday, July 11, 2008

Welcome to the Adoption world.. why am I here?

It's all about adoption. Are you right for adoption? How do you adopt? There are so many avenues for adoption. These avenues can be so confusing and scary for the travelers in this journey. Agencies claiming that their regulations are the country or orphanage regulations, insterstate compacts, and different rules from state to state can make a newby in the adoption world say "Oh My". There is no need for this daunting feeling that aches in the pit of your stomach, but don't worry, it is natural for a new Adoptive parent to feel bewildered and stressed before they even sign with an adoption agency or pick their avenue to travel for their adoption journey. I am hoping that you will find my writing as a beacon of hope in this sea of information. I am not at all claiming to know everything about adoption, but I am willing to offer to you what I do know. So, sit down, take a deep breath and read. Soak it up, then when you are ready, step away from your computer and start your adoption journey.

Are you in your adoption journey but feel as though others are not understanding you? Do you feel pressured by outsiders to act a certain way? Are you frustrated with your agency or adoption professional?

This is all pretty normal in the adoption community. Just like any relationship that means anything. It takes work and understanding on both sides and I know how it feels when you are doing all the understanding and those around you are refusing to understand you. The sometimes daily screaming in your mind tends to become deafening during a long adoption journey. I am going to try to still that voice in your head that is screaming for acknoweldgement. I want to offer you hope and understanding about adoption but not so much understanding you can't function as an adoptive parent. Yes, it is possible to read so much you numb your own built in skills and make bringing your new family member home anything but a delight. So take heed and understand the first rule of adoption. The person that wrote that book is more than likely a self proclaimed professional and has not adopted ALL the children in the world, so they too will have a limited understanding of your child. Does this mean to not read these books or even what I am typing to you? No, not at all. Just make sure to keep your head in check and let your opinions have room to breathe so that when that wonderful day arrives and you are picking your child up, you are not holding a bag of tricks meant for someone elses child. Trust me, you DO have instincts and they are worth while. Just because your child is adopted does not make them a special secret diseased being. Just a little different. Adopting a child is a balance. A wonderful and beautiful balance and I hope to help you see that as time goes on. So, now that we have the first ground rule laid, and you understand that I am just a person like you, sharing what I have learned and found to work, we can now move forward and start learning. Stick around. I like you.

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