AN INSIDE LOOK INTO INDEPENDENT!

The big 4! The big FOUR! The Fourth month! Ok, so it has been four months since we signed on with Morning Light. Our last adoption through Taiwan was a whopping 3 1/2 weeks to referral and 6 months from application to pick up! Of course this was when the milk and honey flowed freely and there were a gazillion people waiting in line! Even though we are with a small Missionary lead organization, time still ticks by, but hopefully just not as long as with the American agencies. Things are so different with a non agency adoption or Independent adoption. Foster care has to be located for your referral, paperwork is different, there is MORE travel across the island than with agency.
HERE IS THE SUPPOSED DIALOG of the intricacies of INDEPENDENT ADOPTION TAIWAN VS. Agency:
What could be so different you ask? Well, let's start with how an agency adoption would go.
First of all, you receive your referral WAY differently. The referral with an agency goes something like this.....
You either receive a call or an email with either a waiting child they are offering you or a child that has just come up for adoption within their network. You receive their picture (90% of the time or more) and their background, family history, health concerns if there are any to consider.
You think about it, pray about it and then accept or deny.
After referral acceptance, you get the contracts and the power of attorneys, which you first oogle over because they are sooo COOL! copy in triplicates times triplicates times a bunch more..lol. You get those notarized and then authenticated. Then they all go to TECO which says, "Yep, these are cool" and then they send them either to you or your agency. Your agency makes MORE COPIES of everything in triplicates times triplicates. You, If you are smarter than the average adopting bear, will take a copy of all these documents and carry one set WITH YOU, just in case, including copies of your passport ( I know they say no color, but do it anyways), AND you will leave a copy of your taxes and your whole "dossier packet" with a friend or trusted family member back in the states (including your passport copies) just in case you leave your documents in a taxi one day while in Taiwan and have to go to AIT to get your child's exit interview done and OOPS you don't have the info, BUT WAIT! YOU DO! Because you were smart, it is back at home, safe and sound and can be faxed or emailed right over.
Ok so you did the contracts and everything, you have all the info and now you are ready. You wait and wait, and wait, and GUESS WHAT? YOU WAIT! BUT WAIT, that's not all you also won a trip to "you don't know a thing ville". That's right, you don't get ANY INFO (depending on what agency and what judge and what orphanage). You possibly won't know when your court log in date was, when your court date is or was, or even when first ruling happened. So, you wait for the all fateful TRAVEL CALL! Once you get the travel call, you will have about 2-4 weeks to make your travel arrangements (depending on agency, orphanage, and AIT appointments already lined up since they only allow so many a week for adoption interviews).
So, you make travel arrangements for you and your oh so excited spouse, pack, repack, and finally pack again. You have the well known and famous "travel meeting" with your agency. Your blood is pumping, you have so many questions and they have answers for all. You are somewhat relieved now that you are up to speed. You make one more check of your luggage and your paperwork. You take your paperwork on the plane IN YOUR CARRY ON! So that you don't have to worry about the luggage not arriving or it getting ran over and your whole life history and nitty gritty info being all over the runway! You fly to Taipei, Taiwan. A twelve hour flight of butterflies in the tummy, watching the plane on the map with great anticipation, trying to occupy your reeling mind with airline movies, trying to sleep everynow and then when the butterflies grant you permission, or just talking to your hubby about how great your child is going to be (you know, what their cry sounds like, what their laugh is like, will they like you?, what are they doing right now?).
Ok, so you survived your flight, which is very nice and you couldn't have asked for better service if you took EVA AIR That is (small plug for our fave Taiwan flyer). You get off the plane, and even though you read the guidelines your agency sent you telling you NOT TO POINT!!!!!!! You get off the plane either graugy from sleeping or flat frenzied and excited and you POINT AT THE SIGN YOUR DRIVER IS HOLDING! You die of embarrassment and then vow to never point again! So you change your evil ways immediately and then you present your hand palm up towards the sign in correction. All the while excitedly yelling to your travel party, "there it is".
You worry for a split second "we have to go through customs" then you realize "there really isn't a customs to really speak of, no one is stopping you, no one even cares" so you grab your bags, make an instant check of the stroller to make sure all wheels are still attached, then make your way to your driver's car or van. You load it all up, quickly, since they like to do things quickly. You go on what the American's would call a rollercoaster or race track back home. You try to take in all the sites as they Wizz by you through the van windows. You try to snap a shot here and there and they are blurry since you are going oh 80 or so!! As you near down town Taipei you get more excited. Your thoughts are "Wow, I am really in TAiwan, this is soooo cool!" and then for some it turns to "WE are going to FINALLY MEET OUR CHILD, I FEEL SICK!"..lol.
Ok, so you came to grips with the fact you are no longer in Kansas Toto and you hang on for the remainder of your trip to your hotel. Some of you may choose to go directly to rail or another plane however if your child is in Tainan. None the less, your trip will end up at a hotel somewhere in Taipei or Tainan. You will meet your child either the next day or if you traveled earlier, in a day or two. You will again feel those butterflies, except this time they seem to have turned into BATS! You meet your child, you cry, you take pictures, you cry, you watch your husband playing with his son or daughter for the very first time, YOU CRY, you learn about their life there at the orphanage, you meet their caregivers YOU REALLY CRY because you are grateful for the love you see them giving your child, you give them their gifts, maybe listen to a letter from birthmom or YOU MEET HER!YOU CRY AGAIN! Finally, your day in the sun, your first day with the new love of your life, the day you waited for, the day you prayed for, Your Child's Gotchya day is almost gone, sniff sniff. You either board a plane or train or taxi and make it back to your hotel, which is more than likely in Taipei since AIT appointment is usually the day after you pick up your child, and THAT is in Taipei. You go the next day to AIT and you forget your money in the room (don't forget, all NTW or USD or a credit card but credit is unreliable and you don't want ANYTHING to hold up your child's visa). So you go back to the hotel and get the money. You arrive at the VERY SCARY guards standing outside and they ask you what your business is. You tell them and they smile, you think "they can do that?" lol. So you enter AIT. The appointment is easier than you had assumed. You run into another Afamily and say hi. Are they from your board? You go back to your hotel or site see. Next day you go back to AIT and get the VISA for your child. AGAIN, easier than you had assumed. That night or the next day you usually frantically pack your possessions up again to fly home, this time with the ultimate "Made in Taiwan" souvenir. You smile, many natives smile back. Life is good. You come back to mass crowds to meet you and your new sweet heart! You are dog tired. You make it through it all and think "where did the time go?".
Ok, so we just did an agency trip. Are you tired? I am.

Independent! Ok so, so far, this is what we have seen. Your birthmom has not always relinquished rights, which whether you know it or not, sometimes that is the case in agency too, but it seems to be more pronounced with independent. You get minimal info on your child up front sometimes, because they are not always born and you don't have the pull an agency does to muscle info out of the birthmom's doctors. You don't get a picture immediately, because this isn't agency land and that isn't a necessary thing..lol. You may get it a few days later though after you find out about your child. If your child is not born yet, then that is self explanatory, right? Unless you are partial to the alien look of a sonogram, then I would forgo this stage for a picture. Ok, so, since this isn't a normal referral you are use to, meaning agency style. I would assume, You feel very off kilter and kind of confused. Is this my kid? Is this it for our family? AFTER grueling back and forths in your thougths. You accept the child as your own. BUT the birth mom is under age and cannot sign the papers until she is 20, or SS are taking their time to get you the info on the kid or kids, or it is not born yet and again that is self explanitory (can't sign over what doesn't exist!). So, your waiting starts here instead of the courts. So you wait, and wait and WAIT! Details are nailed down as you go. They have to be because all cases are different. So, you just hang in there. Checking your email everyday for new information on the case. Your Taiwan side organization are great though and they get any info to you immediately. You are grateful. You seem to get more info than with agency because you are apart of the decision making process. You have a say so, since it is your adoption. You know WAY more than you did with your agency adoption and you are kept in the loop at all times. This is the nice part!!!! You get more updates than agency. So, depending on your birthmom's circumstance, you may have to wait a couple of months to be able to start the adoption. Depending on when she is due, is she 20?, will mom and dad sign on her behalf. You have to pay for your foster care. Which depends on who has the child as to how much they want. Some just want you to pay for formula and diapers or food and send clothing. Others want 400 USD. Until the home is up and running this is the way things are, so you deal with it. You find out your child is in oh say Taichung, so your court process will happen there. You finally get your contracts, you do the same process with them as with the agency, except there are NO triplicates times triplicates, BUT you are smart again this time and make a copy of everything for you to carry with you and one to leave at home. Ok, so you are through that stage! Pretty painless, just like with agency. Your papers go to the court either by SW or Lawyer. You get to skype sometimes with your child, even an infant. You get like 50 photos instead of 2 or 3 up the nose shots or some months not at all. YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON THE WHOLE TIME however. EVEN when your child gets a tooth!!! AGAIN, a nice thing to have on your side. You know court log in, court date, first ruling and then you get THE TRAVEL CALL. You have control over this somewhat though and you can leave as early as a week, to go and get your child. You frantically get your flights and hotel in order. Pack, repack. You don't have time for the final pack..lol. So, you just get on the plane and go, go, go. Where? To Taipei of course, just like with agency. BUT, your child is wherever your foster care is, so you go and pick them up say in Taichung. BUT they were born in Taitung, so you load up on a plane or a train again and go to Taitung to change the household registry YOURSELF, which means you get the "friendly IR-visa" and no readoption in some states. They will be a citizen upon touch down. Then you want to thank those that helped with finding your child so you go and visit with the missionaries, then the unwed home, so more planes or trains or automobiles for you. SO, you have already traveled half the island possibly. Lastly, you too have to do the agency thing and go to AIT for the exit interview and then second day, the visa. You of course are smart and do the whole document copy thing and make sure you have the all NTW or USD for payment, because rememer? WE don't trust the credit card. So, you are done and ready for the flight home with the newest member of your family. The butterflies come back, after all, they don't want you to fly alone. Your child does fine on the way home and you are greeted by what seems to be all of your home town if not the entire state! After all, you survived an adoption and have a super sweet kid to show for your efforts, pain, agony and sheer exhaustion!!!!! THE END!
Life is going ok, I have lots to do and NOT ENOUGH TIME to do it in. There are things going on behind our scenes that we are agonizing over! Emails need to be emailed, yard sales had, jewelry made! YIKES! I am so overwhelmed right now. Anyways, we hope to be doing a "real update" of some kind in the near future. Bear with us!