Be Prepared: Agency Questions that say "WHAT?"

HOW TO BE PREPARED AND SHOW THE AGENCY that YOU GOT THIS!!

The following are a few questions that an agency may ask you.. what are
they looking for?


What does our family do for a school aged child if I find that he has
developmental delays, behavior problems, sexual abuse, etc.

I am not sure what they want here. Do they want you to show your problem solving
technique? What I have found is that an agency wants to see that you are A.
Prepared for any challenge that you may meet and B. Well studied. The downfall
to well studied is that some that study too much tend to believe what they study
over their own gut feelings or what they pray about even and it becomes
dangerous. Anyways, I am guessing they want to see both the above A and B. So I
would show this by finding things in your local area that will help. 1. a solid
support group for adoptive families. 2. information on hand for local programs
that will help your child with developmental delays and behavioral problems. 3.
information of a psychologist that other adoptive parents suggest from your
area. In other words show them you have support and game plan if the scenarios
came about.



The effects of institutionalization. What are they?

Wow, this is a huge topic. When studying this one I was using two psych books
"Helping Children with Aggression and Conduct problems" (Also good for some of
your above information) by Micahel L. Bloomquist. AND Young Children and
Trauma-Intervention and Treatment" by Joy D. Osofsky.
The one that proved to be the most helpful was "Young Children and Trauma". It
goes much deeper than a lot of people want to go but if you are at all
interested in psych this book is very interesting and goes all the way down to
the chemicals interrupted by institutional living for children (and how to
restore them) and the psych issues it can cause such as DAD and RAD or as little
as inability for the child to calm down like most children when upset. Most
children that are institutionalized for over a year have some form of
problematics they will come to you with. This is not to scare anyone but they
can range from simple sensory issues or untrust of caregivers all the way up to
DAD and in most worse case scenarios RAD. This topic so very broad and again, I
think they just want you to show awareness to possibilities of these issues and
problem solving techniques by you and your support groups "IF" these things were
to arise.



Trust and attachment issues, tantrums, rejection of us, sleep issues,etc. What do they want me to say or know?

Some of this is covered in the book also and more than
likely Karrie's sources will talk about these things too. In
institutionalization and even rough foster care situations there can be trust
and attachment issues. Most can be undone and loved through with patience,
prayer and guidance. When Jeremiah came home he was in the orphanage 1 year 2
weeks and he screamed at us off and on for 3 months. He tried to control his
situation. He had sleep issues because of being in a bustling orphanage that
handled sleep in a poor manor (a cd player playing classical music did the
trick). He was spoiled rotten by care givers (they admitted this) and therefore
we had to break a cycle they built ( we watched him scream for one of them and
they would just hand him off to them). He would throw fits, screaming and
scooting across the floor for an hour or more for no reason at all usually
related to HIS lack of control of US. All of this
was undone in 6 months time and he was well adjusted and remains so. The rule
of thumb is that for every year in an institution, the child will face a
possible 6 months adjustment time in the family. He was very attached to us
however and still is. We did some baby wearing (not extreme), he went straight
to his own room (which he did very well with), and the fits stopped once we
stopped allowing him to have the control. (per our Social
worker's guidance)

The agency questions on local adoption support groups, language
translation, and local Thai culture groups. How do I handle these?

Again, they just want to make sure that you are
prepared to continue his culture which I think that needs to be a comfort level
for your family and him. BUT they want to see an effort as to your interest and
being able to support and grow that part of him. Most children I have seen from
Asian countries do not want a lot to do with their own culture at young ages.
Jeremiah was very put off by being around lots of Asian people at one time but
is slowly being ok with that and he has been home for a little over 2 years now.
I have heard this scenario a lot.
Anyways, I hope this all helps you out. If you need more info.. let me know..
you can take an online course that they may look highly on too.. take a look at
"With Eyes Wide Open" HERE Some of the Taiwan agencies will have their families
take this course simply because the orphanages in Taiwan like to see the
families strive to further their understanding of intercultural adoptions and
some of the possible. There are other courses too.
One thing that all agencies have liked to see about our profile was that we had
done 30 hours of state training, and had a slew load of books we had read and
research we had done. Being well studied is definitely pleasing to them.